Beyond the Booth: How We Talk About Coaching and Growth in Engineering (and Everywhere)
What have your experiences been with conference vendor booths?
When I ask myself that question, do you know what happens? My mind goes blank; they all blur together – none of them stand out.
Why? (Channeling my 5-year-old daughter)
In my opinion, most booths are trying to project out vs finding a way to take it all in. This is where we dare to be different.
The Nebraska.Code() developer conference is one of our favorites. Hosted in Lincoln, NE, it draws people in from all over the region, as participants and presenters. What a great opportunity to LEARN from those in our local ecosystem.
Sure, we can read about things online and make assumptions, but this is a time to see if we are experiencing the world differently. Maybe we have different pain points? Or better yet, we discover some secret sauce recipe that has not yet been realized. What better way to find out than to learn from those attending Nebraska.Code().
This year, our team sat down and discussed what we could do as an activity to engage those attending, learn something together, and offer insights that could continue to make those who support our region better.
We landed on the topics of coaching and growth. The human elements of our profession that are needed by all of us and at times can be overlooked. With this in mind, we decided to take those two areas and see what we could learn.
Our two main concepts:
- How are we showing up for each other?
- What pain points and knowledge gaps are we experiencing in a world that is transforming incredibly fast?
These two concepts are related but might have seemed separate when completing the booth activity as a participant.
Let’s start with the first concept: how we show up for each other. We asked two questions:
- How do you coach others?
a. We totaled 38 participants - How do you like to be coached?
a. We totaled 35 participants
The word ‘coached’ was intentional. We wanted to make that distinction in this exercise. As one participant told me, the English language has different but similar words for a reason: it’s because the meaning IS different, even if slightly nuanced.
Here is the quick run-down of the difference (just in case): Mentoring is more formal, typically longer term, creates an environment for giving advice on both personal and professional topics, typically with someone more senior, and does not have to be with someone in your industry. Coaching tends to be more at a task level or situational; coaches typically don’t give you answers but ask questions to help the individual get to where they need to go and can come from anyone. While the software engineering industry has both, we assumed that coaching is happening on a more regular and daily basis.
How Our Activity Worked
At our booth, we set up an interactive activity using colored paper and tubes. Each of the three colors represented a different question:
- Blue – How do you coach other software engineers?
- Red – How do you prefer to be coached?
- Yellow – What is your biggest pain point with professional growth in your team – and why?
Participants wrote their answers on the matching colored paper and dropped them into the corresponding tube.
The Results
I was blown away by how much people wrote when they participated. We are not just talking a few words; we are talking a few sentences. The thoughtful approach and response should not have surprised me, after all, engineers are deep thinkers and problem solvers. Let’s dive in:
Question #1: How Do You Coach Others
Our first question was all about how Engineers approach coaching others – on their team, on other teams, in their ecosystem, etc. Here are the themes and some of the most common answers:
- Hands-on Technical Approaches:
- Pair programming & mob programming
- Code reviews and PRs are mentioned as the primary coaching vehicles
- “Stay close to the code” mentality
- Adaptive Coaching Philosophy:
- Empathy for understanding different learning styles and emotional needs
- Situational leadership
- Feedback tailoring to communication preferences
- Safe Learning Environment:
- Encouragement of failure as a learning mechanism
- Lead by example
- Provide time/space, but be available for questions
- Gradual Knowledge Transfer:
- Give them enough information and set them loose mentality
- Guide them towards answers vs. giving them
Question #2: How Do Engineers Like to be Coached?
Our second question flipped the script. Here are the themes and the most common answers:
- Hands-on Learning Preference:
- Preference for applied learning vs. theoretical
- Work on real projects to provide the ‘learn by doing’ environment
- Direct, Specific Feedback:
- Preference for concrete and actionable feedback
- Give examples and specifics vs. general guidance
- Autonomy with Support:
- A desire for problem-solving independence
- Be present for questions as they come up (don’t micromanage)
- Point me in the right direction to find answers (resources)
- Communication preference:
- Over-communicate and set clear expectations
- A solid understanding of pain points before attempting solutions
- Visual learning style is mentioned often
The themes did align for the most part…however, we did have a slight disconnect. Those who are coached want more direct and actionable feedback. Even those we talked to said that they coach to let engineers learn by doing, which included failures because that is where the real good stuff happens. However, when asked how they wanted to be coached, they also preferred direct and actionable information. ‘Don’t make me spin my wheels.’
Here is the real insight from this experience: we as humans don’t like to be uncomfortable or feel like we don’t have a direction. While we don’t like it, this is where growth happens. As part of the coaching experience, if we can remind those we coach and ourselves that this medicine is good for us, think of what we can achieve.
Question #3: What’s the Biggest Pain Point with Professional Growth on Your Team, and Why?
The last question we asked was all about growth. This was by far the most answered question, which is saying something because we had amazing participation with each question.
My own assumption told me ‘time’ would be an obvious answer. I feel it every day myself, the constant pressure with how fast our technical ecosystem is evolving and trying to find the time to stay relevant, while doing my job, being a mom, and partner – it can and is overwhelming.
After reading these thoughtful responses, it is more than just time. Take a look at some of the takeaways:
- Time Constraints & Competing Priorities
- Heavy workloads and deadlines crowd out time for growth
- Professional development often spills into personal/family time
- A fast-paced environment makes it hard to pause for learning
- Lack of Mentorship, Coaching, & Guidance
- Few mentors or senior leaders to provide direction
- Managers are too busy or unequipped to coach effectively
- Limited clarity on career paths and advancement options
- Organizational & Cultural Barriers
- Growth is not prioritized or supported in the company culture
- Legacy systems, rigid processes, and resistance to change
- Lack of psychological safety to admit gaps or pursue training
- Feedback & Recognition Challenges
- Performance reviews done by disconnected leaders
- Difficulty advocating for oneself and getting visibility
- Limited actionable feedback tied to strategic goals
- Communication & Collaboration Struggles
- Assumptions about “common” knowledge create barriers
- Misalignment on tools, processes, and work styles
- Isolation from peers or underrepresentation in teams
- Motivation & Personal Growth Barriers
- Uneven levels of motivation and resistance to growth
- Comparing self-worth to peers creates stress
- Pressure to keep up with rapidly evolving tech stacks
This question made it clear that professional growth isn’t blocked by a single issue. It’s a mix of time, culture, communication, and support. For teams, the challenge is finding a balance between delivering today’s work and investing in tomorrow’s skills. For leaders, it’s about creating the space, mentorship, and psychological safety that allow people to grow.
What Can We Take from These Responses?
The thoughtful responses reinforced that growth is deeply personal but also dependent on the environment we work in. If organizations can remove some of these barriers, the motivation and desire to grow are already there.
Some food for thought:
- Don’t be afraid to ask others how they like to be coached. If you haven’t asked, you don’t know.
- Don’t be afraid to tell others how you like to be coached. Don’t assume others know; people aren’t mind readers (thankfully).
- Professional growth is your responsibility. In the military, we often say you are responsible for your own career. Yes, help is layered in along the way but ultimately you must take charge of your own destiny.
- To all organizations and managers, you will not retain talent if you can’t provide learning and growth opportunities. A culture of growth equips employees to adapt and turn challenges into opportunities for innovation. That is a differentiator.
It can be daunting to find a place to start when time and space seem elusive; micro learning is a wonderful first step. Use AI to help narrow in on topics that will help jump-start things. Prompt for a 10-week plan, with time constraints and focus topics. Add to your calendar, protect the time, and then find a way to share to solidify the learnings. Bonus: Pick a topic that will help with a current project. Iterate as you go and reflect on what you and your team have learned.
We want to hear more ideas on what has worked for your team. Drop a comment or send me a DM on LinkedIn.
Finally, a big thank you to all who participated in the Nebraska.Code() booth activity. We collected some great learnings and insights for all in our industry. Did you see something interesting in the themes and data? Share your insights with us!
